Second cycle of chemo this week

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I am going to have my PICC line put in, which is a tube in a vein which will stay in for the rest of my treatment. This will be better for the intravenous feeding of the drugs into my body and will also be where they take my bloods each time. 

This Thursday is also my second session of chemotherapy so please pray that I will continue to have very few side effects.

My mum will be staying at my place again to look after me. She and my dad have been so great. Mum comes to my flat now and again, dropping off homemade juice packed full of healthy vitamins for me to drink. However, Dad has started to not sleep so well. Probably because he is worried for me and mum. Could you also lift him up in prayer as I need him to be ok. Thanks guys. 

Hello new look!

I did it, I shaved it all off......

The speed of the hair falling out got to a point where I had to vacuum the flat every day just not to be walking in hair! That is what ultimately decided it for me. The maintenance of the fallen out hair was just too much. It wasn't worth my time!

My brother, Kalun shaved it all off for me. It wasn't as bad as I thought as it would be. I had a little cry in the morning at the thought, but then when it came to it, I wasn't as emotional as I thought I would be. As some of you guys said, it was empowering to be in control of when I got rid of my hair rather than having it happen to me and me being powerless to stop it. 

It is surprising how cold it is without hair! God gave us hair for insulation and warmth! He knew what He was doing! I've tried on my wig and it looks really close to my normal hairstyle and it is very warm. However, I think wigs are designed to hide the fact that the wearer doesn't have hair and therefore the hair hangs on both sides and moves in front of the face when you are moving and it is very annoying. There is no way of tucking them behind the ears because that is where the cap of the wig starts. I've been wearing hats so far, but it's kind of weird to wear hats indoors and never take them off.

Going bald was really not part of my life's plan but here I am. I am ok about it because I know it is only for a few months and I am so thankful that it's happening in Spring/Summer. Thank you God. 

Hair you go

It's beginning to happen. My hair is starting to fall out. Big Time. My hair has always fallen out onto the floor as part of its normal moulting process. But this is very different and a lot more. I was in the shower washing my hair and each time I took my hand away from my head, lots of hair would come away with it. To the point where it was like I was washing away my hair. I was quite distressed. In the beginning, I wasn't that bothered about losing my hair, but now that it is happening I'm quite upset. I think it is because I don't want to look like a cancer patient, I want to look normal. I don't want to look like I have an illness. 

So much fell out that my hair blocked the bath's plug hole. And then when I was drying my hair with a towel, more came out. There was hair everywhere! It took me as long to clean up the bathroom as it took me to have the shower! And then when I blew dry my hair, more came out! Surprisingly enough I look like I still have a head full of hair. 

I may shave it all off this weekend. It's just too distressing to watch it fall out bit by bit. And it's just all over everything. It's like living with a big cat except I'm the cat! 

Normal this week

I am back to normal this week, physically and work wise. The light headedness and tiredness has gone and I feel very normal. I've been working but just finishing early each day. 

There are no appointments this week. More next week and also the second cycle of chemo. 

Many people have asked me how I discovered the lump and it was during my shower routine that I noticed that there seemed to be a hard lump underneath the skin in one breast that was not present in the other. I made an appointment with my doctor to get it checked out and she referred me to the hospital. They did an ultrasound and a biopsy and a few days later I learnt of the diagnosis. 

The cancer is in stage 1 so I caught it early and it is hormone sensitive which I am told is a good thing. Don't know why.

So ladies (and gentlemen) it is worth checking yourselves now and again. And yes you gents too. Men can also have breast cancer. 

Doing good

The light headedness left and I've been feeling back to normal since yesterday. I am so pleased that I am doing really well. I am on my way to get a NHS wig made before my hair all falls out. I love our National Health Service. They really don't deserve the bad press they get. They really do look after people. 

Back at work

I returned to work today. I feel alright. A bit light headed and a little tired so I think I will just do shortened hours. 

Starting to feel a little tired

My boiler got replaced yesterday, praise God! Last night's shower was a treat! You sometimes really don't know what you take for granted until it's gone. It was a real answer to prayer, God knows what I need.

Today I woke up late because I did not sleep well and then went to Kalun's birthday party. My gorgeous brother is 38 today! You wouldn't know it by looking at him as he still dresses so casually. We had a good time with friends at a friends' house with my sister-in-law and my two gorgeous nephews. 

I am starting to feel a little more tired than normal. I am told to expect this. I think they call it chemo fatigue. I started to feel quite tired around 6pm today which is unusual for me. It's now 9:30pm and I'm already ready for bed!

Still feeling good

I woke up yesterday expecting to feel a few bad symptoms but nothing except that I feel a little warm and the same again today! I was even able to go to my parents last night to have dinner and home group afterwards! If this continues I'll be able to go back to work on Monday! It's my lovely brother's birthday party tomorrow too, I should hopefully be able to go to that. 

Anomalies in left breast benign

My doctor texted me to let me know that the biopsy on the little unknown specks in my left breast are benign. Hooray!!

Home from Chemo

I am back home from my chemo session. It went fine apart from that it took the nurse 3 times to find a good vein. She kept hitting a valve whatever that is, which meant resistance to the needle going in so eventually they found one in my lower arm. They've advised me to put in what they call a PICC line which is a permanent tube in my upper arm which will stay throughout my treatment and that is where they will administer the chemo drugs and take blood. It is advisable for me because my veins are not so bulgy and not easy to find and also they only have the left arm to work with because the lymph node surgery was on the right side and it is not advisable to have liquids or blood to go out of that arm. I will have a PICC line put in before the next chemo session.

The entire session only took 2 hours (half an hour trying to find a vein!). I had my lunch of chicken and egg sandwiches (lovingly prepared by my mum) at the same time and mum was next to me the whole time. My nurse, Jill was very nice and attentive. One of the drugs when it was going through made me light headed and gave me a line of pain in my eyes. But that passed when it finished. Very weird.

Jill gave me a bag of drugs to take home. Some I have to take, others I take as and when. One drug is for if I am constipated, another is for if I have diarrhoea, another is for I am feeling nauseous and so on. And then there are others that I have to take to work against sickness and get my white cell count up. These are all for me!:

My friend picked us up and drove us home. I have since had a sit down and a cup of tea and I have even been to the supermarket with mum to buy groceries! We've had a nice homemade dinner together (cooked by mother dearest) and now relaxing on the sofa. I feel alright, a bit light headed and a little tired, but not any other side effects yet. And I don't want any, God if you can arrange it. Thank you. Amen!

First chemo session today

First chemo session today at 12:30pm, it should only last 1.5 hours. Mum is going to come with me. The medical info they have given me has let me know that I will most likely lose all of my hair within the next 6 weeks. I have decided not to have a wig made and just wear hats and head scarves in the meantime. It'll be a new look! So for documentary purposes, this is what I look like now:

Also I had to go in for another biopsy on Monday on my other breast(!) as the doctor saw other little things there. She is quite sure they are benign but just wanted to make sure. She also gave me the results of my MRI and it shows that my cancerous lump is is 29mm deep and it is central to my right breast and though it's not that big, it's big in relation to me because I am a small lady! This is what we are trying to reduce with the chemo.

As I begin my treatment I am again overwhelmed at how fortunate I am to be surrounded by wonderful supportive friends and family as well as good practical things like a good job and a cosy flat to just be able to focus on getting better. My family have been wonderful. Mum has been busily cooking meals for me, my freezer is now full with food stuffs that I don't know what to do with! She has also been making carrot juice for me to drink every day. Apparently this is high in vitamin C. Dad has been sourcing the practical needs of my flat, buying me a TV, microwave, kettle, saucepans and other bits and pieces that you need to live in a place. I am also so grateful for my work. Ever since my news I have definitely done less hours every week than my contracted hours due to going to appointments and surgeries, and they are so supportive about it all. My pastorate and home group have started a prayer time to pray for me every week. When I heard about this I nearly cried! And then many of you my lovely friends have let me know that you are thinking about me by sending me flowers, cards, gifts and messages. I know that I am going to be ok because you guys love me and because I know that I am in the palm of God's hand and that He is directing everything and surrounding me with His love and care. Bring on the chemo!

Boiler to be fixed!

After many days of not knowing whether I am going to have constant hot water in my flat, the lettings agent has finally found a contractor with the right quote for the landlord to agree for the work to be done this Thursday/Friday. Hooray and praise God! Thank you for your prayers and keeping me in your thoughts. I nearly moved back to my parents but knowing it will only be a few days makes the boiling of water for the baths more tolerable!

Prayer request - boiler not working

My boiler is not working as it should and it is very inconvenient. The hot water turns to cold water every few minutes so it is not possible to have a shower. I am having to boil water and pouring it into the bathtub to have a bath and this takes more than half an hour, and washing my hair from a bucket. I could be patient if I wasn't having chemo in a few days. I don't know what my body's reaction will be and it'll be nice to just have nice hot showers in my possible weakened state. 

The lettings agent knows about it and are liaising with a boiler company and the landlord, but I would appreciate your prayers for divine intervention for a swift resolution before my chemo begins. If you are not a religious person and you do not pray, please hope for this for me as I believe God hears you too. Thanks guys. 

Chemo starts on Weds

The oncology dept rang today and let me know that my first chemotherapy session will be next Weds (12 March) at 12:35pm. Please pray that I will have minimal effects from the treatment. 

I am also being asked to come in for more tests. Please pray that they don't find more negative stuff than we know about. 

I feel fine and calm about having the chemo. I am glad it is beginning and it is the start of fighting the cancer. 

Still nothing

Still no date for starting chemo. I rang oncology and the lady said that I was in her "urgent" pile and that she would be calling me as soon as she had a date and time for me. I'm not sure if being in her urgent pile is a good or bad thing!

Recovering well

I am doing well and recovering very quickly. The pain in my side where they operated seem to be fading which is great. I still can't put my right arm above my head so it means I can only wear tops that fasten up at the front for the time being. The swelling of my ovaries has gone down and the effects from that surgery have gone. I feel well enough to go back to work tomorrow.

A few days may pass before I update again as I am now awaiting my date to start chemotherapy which should be next week. But I will update as soon as I know. 

Thank you to the lovely friends who have sent me flowers. Every window sill has a vase of flowers which brightens up the place and reminds me of your care for me. Thank you!